Why Would You Ever Waste Your Day Worrying?

I woke up today with a new sense of purpose. Isn't it funny how easily it can get lost? In all of the "what if's," "wish I had's," and "waiting on's" I sometimes forget that today is the now. Life is not the past or the future but the present.

This seems to be a practice that I'm not very good at. In the past I have so focused on when I graduate, when I have my own practice, when I get married, when we own a house, etc. etc. etc. and have forgotten that waking up with my pug snoring louder than any human, worrying that I won't have time to brush my hair before I fly out the door to the office and wondering if I'll have enough money at the end of the month to pay my bills is all part of life. Life that no doubt can be stressful, hateful and spiteful but joyous all the same! It's easy to say "life is what you make of it" and "change your attitude and it will change your life" but honestly, I don't feel this is 100% accurate. I do believe that sometimes we can wake up and put on a fake smile and make the day better with the "fake it to make it" attitude but sometimes we just have to wake up to the "Really, God, really?" of it all and enjoy the ride.

Today, I am learning to be grateful for the now. For the miraculous now. Stress, pain, suffering, all of it. Thank you Lord for the joy of pain, for the lessons to come and the knowledge to be able to acknowledge the what the heck of it all and still enjoy it.